You're trolling through your daily matches, right? You see the username "HotMama4U" and "BootyBoombastic317" and "AllAboutTheBase411." Whoa! Hell to the yeah, right?!?!?
Uh, hell no.
Come on. You see something like that in a woman's username, you know it ain't gonna be good. It's definitely not gonna be anything that turns into a relationship. And it's likely it's gonna end up with a prescription for antibiotics. Unless, you know, that's what you're trolling for. So when you see "BootyBombastic317" in a username, you basically know what you're gonna get: a bangin' good time for one night and herpes for the rest of your life. It's the match that keeps on giving. But if that's what you want, then more power to ya!
But women aren't like that. They're not gonna see "MasterBlaster69" and think, "Now there's the man I wanna spend the rest of my life with!" And they're not even gonna wanna spend a NIGHT with you! And let's be serious, from the non-scientific research I've done, women are on Match looking for a relationship - not a one-night bang.
My sister's given me the inside scoop on Match and the daily matches she's trolled through. She showed the usernames to me, and lemme tell ya, some of y'all are pathetic. Okay, let's be brutal - MOST of y'all are pathetic! And that's an amazing thing to me because aside from a profile picture, the username is your first introduction to another woman, to a potential date, to a potential wife. Is that really how you want your first intro to be?? Would you walk up to a woman in a bar and say, "Hey there, I'm BigOne69. What's your name?" Uh, NO! So why would you do it on Match.com?? Get real.
My sister's said she can't count the number of times she's trashed a daily match or a wink or an email from a dude because the username immediately turn her off. Didn't care about the picture. Didn't look at the profile. Didn't care, period. Her reasoning? If you have a nasty, stupid, suggestive, demeaning, degrading, or inappropriate username, then you have no self-respect and you definitely have no mutual respect. You can't respect yourself, you sure as hell ain't gonna respect someone else.
So there you have it.
Change your pathetic username!!!
Now you're asking, "Change it to what? It took me 3 minutes to come up with 'BigOne69.' How'm I ever gonna come up with a better one?!?" Here're some ideas from my sister.
1.
Be fun.
You don't have to be "funny," but try and be "fun." Yeah, there's a difference. Don't try to make someone laugh out loud. That ain't gonna happen with a username. But you can make someone smile. Be clever, be cloy, be playful, be POSITIVE. And the easiest way to do that is to make a play on your interests or your name or even on your career.
2.
Don't use your real name.
This is for your personal safety as well as to retain a bit of mystery. You never want to reveal your real name this early in the game. Can you say, "Basic Instinct"? Come on, don't use your real name.
3.
Come up with several options.
Generally speaking, once you come up with one option, you'll be able to bang out a couple more. Here's a good website that will help you brainstorm some really good options.
http://www.edatingdoc.com/online-dating-username/
The guy who wrote that article has some great advice. DO WHAT HE SAYS!!
And look, spend some time on this. You're dropping your hard-earned cash on a Match.com account. That means you can take 15 to 20 minutes out of your life to come up with a good username!
Then once you come up with 3 or 4 of your best options, show them to some friends. And YES, that means showing them to some women. Your mom, your sister, your best bud's wife, a co-worker, or - even better - a woman who is single! Don't toss your best example at a fellow dude to see what he thinks of it. That's like asking Mormon to tell you which wine pairs best with a rib eye. It's a disaster waiting to happen. Ask a woman! A single woman! You're gonna get better feedback from a single woman because that's your target audience. And be ready for the brutal responses - and DON'T be an ass when they give you feedback! Try and incorporate what they've said, and at the least, say thanks!
The only way you're gonna come up with a good username is if you start to think like a woman!!
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