Match.com: Pick the Right Pic!

All right, guys. Which looks better to you? This ...

Or this ... ?

This ...

Or this ... ?

Yeah, okay. Get off your high horse. You know you prefer the skinny babes.

Sounds harsh? Yeah, you better believe it. Match.com is a meat market, people. And you best be honest and admit that if you saw the ladies in the first and third pictures above in a profile, you'd be making fun of it, pointing and laughing, blasting the woman, and moving on. Unless big and beautiful is your thing, then you need to admit that you're as shallow as the next guy.

Next test.

Which do you think a WOMAN would prefer? This ...

Or this ... ?

This ...

Or this ... ?

REALITY CHECK!! WOMEN ARE JUST AS SHALLOW AS MEN!!!

Look, it doesn't take much imagination to realize that. Match.com is a meat market for men AND for women.

So here's the deal. My sister cruised through a ton of guy's profiles on Match.com, showed me their pictures, and pointed and laughed at what these guys posted. Dudes showing pictures of themselves shirtless, in bathing suits, or flexing. And these are dudes who should NOT be showing pictures of themselves shirtless, in bathing suits, or flexing.

Hey, if you don't look like Daniel Craig on the beach coming out of the water in "Casino Royale," then don't post those pictures!

Here're a few things my sister said about pictures.

1.
Post something other than selfies. 
In this day and age, if the only pictures you post on your profile are selfies of you posing in front of your bathroom mirror, then you need to know that you look like a friendless loser. Have someone take pictures of you at family gatherings or out at dinner. Get in touch with family and friends and have them send their favorite pictures of you. Have co-workers take candid pictures of you at the office or while you're giving a presentation or during a speech. Make this a joint effort. You're trying to find your match! Take some effort and put some thought into it!

2.
PLEASE add captions to your images!!
Let people know what was going on in the picture. Don't write a book about the shot. Just add two lines that say what was going on and when it was. Say something about it being your dream vacation, about the person in the shot being your best friend of 15 years, the name of your dog, that the woman in the shot is your sister, that the volunteering effort in the picture is one of the most rewarding experiences you've ever had. It's called context, and that kind of information will draw a viewer in to what's going on and it WILL make a person more interested in you!

3.
Don't have pictures of you with other women in there unless it has a caption that says who the woman is!
My sister was TOTALLY turned off by the pictures of guys that also included a woman in the shot. The first assumption is that the woman is an ex-girlfriend or an ex-wife or, even worse, a CURRENT girlfriend or a CURRENT wife. Use the caption utility when you upload the picture and identify who the woman is!!

4.
Get a grip and stop posting scenery, landscape, and vacation pictures!
Pictures like that are pretentious and arrogant. They say, "Look at all of the places I've been and all of the things I've done and all of the money I had to do it and you would be so lucky to get me." And women look at the pictures and think, "Look at that arrogant bastard! Who cares if you've been to the Great Wall AND the Leaning Tower AND the Grand Canyon AND the Palace of Versailles AND give me a break!! NEXT!" One or two vacation pictures is sufficient. And add a caption to it that tells where and when. And for God's sake, don't post scenery shots! If women want to look at scenery, then they can go outside or Google it. She's on your profile to look at YOU, not a rainbow.

5.
Post lifestyle pictures!
Lifestyle pictures are the ones of you with friends, family, your dog, at dinner, at work, volunteering - the ones that show you UNPOSED in a real situation. Natural, laughing, enjoying yourself, doing something that you're passionate about, something that you care about. That kind of picture speaks volumes about your character more than a shirtless wannabe selfie ever could!

6.
Smile!
Smiling makes a person look younger, more appealing, puts the viewer in a good mood, draws the viewer in, and makes the viewer happy. A person smiling in a picture is intriguing and brings good vibes.

7.
Shirtless pictures are a let down.
Believe it or not, the BIG thing that my sister said was that guys who show shirtless pictures of themselves actually are a huge let down because it takes away all the mystery and surprise. Look, hold a few things close to your chest (pun intended). Keep your shirt on and allow it to be a surprise when things get a little hotter on down the line.

8.
Explain the picture!
If you feel you need to post a shirtless picture, then explain it. Nobody out there looks like Taylor Lautner. But if you've lost 150 pounds in the past year and you wanna show it off, then put that in the caption. If you gained 10 pounds of muscle in the past 6 months, then put that in the caption. If you're training for a triathlon and you're in the best shape of your life, then put that in the caption. If you're a swimmer and are trying out for the regional swim meet, then put that in the caption. ANY of those reasons shows something about your character - something that does NOT say "arrogant and self-absorbed."

Remember, when you post pictures to your profile, you gotta realize that a woman is going to react to your pictures the SAME way that you react to a woman's pictures. So be smart about it and think like a woman!!!